Psychic Love: He cheated! How to get him back as a better man

Face of woman who was cheated onJust when you think you’ve got the Relationship of the Century going with a wonderful guy, what happens?

You find out he cheated on you.

Maybe he got drunk at a strip club with his buddies and had sloppy sex with one of the nameless strippers in the shadows of the club.  Or he deliriously jumped the bimbo who slithered out of the cake at a wild booze-drenched bachelor party.

He made an ass out of himself, definitely.  You can’t excuse such a breach in behavior, certainly.

You might be able to let him off the hook after a week or two of beating him to death verbally for such drunken stupidity.  Or maybe the relationship wasn’t quite “solid” enough when it happened that you both realize you need to sit down and define boundaries as a result of his “Jesus-Christ-was-I-drunk-last-night” debauchery.

That can be a very good thing.

What hurts right to the core is when he consciously cheats even when there are already defined relationship boundaries.

With an old girlfriend or someone he works with. Maybe even someone you know or work with.  This man, the one you’ve pinned your hopes and dreams to for the future, the one you’ve invested your heart and soul in, has outright and undeniably betrayed you – putting a great big horrible stake in your heart.

The instant you discover the truth, you tell him in no uncertain words, “Hit the road, you cheating so-and-so!” (or words to that effect) and you mean it as you savagely slam the door behind him to get the point across as he abruptly exits your life.

Trouble is, you love that man.  You hate that you love him but the bottom line is – you still do.

What happens?  Your heart aches endlessly in the aftermath of his departure.  As you grieve intensely over this broken relationship, you find yourself constantly spinning emotionally toward bitterness, jealousy and hatred.  But you hold yourself in check.

A very wise thing to do.

As the cards never fail to insist when I conduct Personal Prophesy readings for those deeply hurt by cheating in romantic relationships, the worst step you can ever take is to impulsively burn that bridge between you and the one you love, driven by your own bitterness, jealousy and pain.

After all, you have no idea how you will feel in a month, three months, a year from now.  You have no idea what the future holds as far as the two of you are concerned.  Circumstances change, people change.  Sometimes the most important change comes from a partner having to learn a huge lesson emotionally the hard way.

The cards, more times than not, reveal that men who cheat on meaningful relationships don’t realize how much these relationships really matter to them – until it’s too late.  These men are, intuitively, on a significant path toward maturity and achieving deep understanding as a result of their cheating.

A man the cards reveal to hold a tremendous amount of  potential to become a better man as a result of this grievous error in judgment toward you is indeed a man worthy of a second chance when the time is right.  He’s a man who will love you the way you want to be loved – if you give him time to take the journey he needs to take to become the man you need him to be.

Personal Prophesy readings always insist that the best relationships are those that have met and conquered severe challenges.

Think about it:  Relationships that have never known any kind of conflict or hardship may seem like great relationships superficially, but when we’re in these relationships, we realistically have no idea how strong or resilient they really are.

These seemingly wonderful relationships run as smooth as a ribbon of silk, but they are actually as fragile as glass because they’ve never been tested by any kind of serious hardship or conflict.  On the other hand, relationships that travel a rough and rocky road where love still somehow manages to prevail – these are relationships of genuine substance and meaning.

The cards will reveal they are relationships worth fighting for and investing in – relationships that have been tested most severely and ultimately survive that test.

In view of that perception, when you’ve discovered that your man has cheated on you, should you:

Angrily throw his clothes out in the trash or litter them on the lawn in front of your apartment?

Why, when you can instead show yourself as a much bigger person by folding his clothes into a box or suitcase and offering to deliver it to his apartment with a great deal of civility on your part.  Chances are, he’ll want to come by and pick his things up himself.

Still, the gesture on your part is full of decency and restraint.  He’ll be awestruck by the amount of class on your part.  Count on it.

Call him incessantly to viciously condemn and curse at him for hurting you the way he did?

Sure, if you want to send the message that you are just another nasty bitch he’ll be glad to get rid of, justifying his infidelity.  Instead, force yourself to simply walk away in silence and leave him to his own guilt-driven demons.  It helps to focus on reciting the last two lines of Phyllis McGinley’s poem, A Choice of Weapons as often as you need to:  “Words can sting like anything but silence breaks the heart.”

Literally turn that silence on your part into your own personal religion.

He will learn far more about his tragic error in judgment from your silence and restraint than he ever would from being bitched at and having his clothing thrown to the wind.  Trust me on this from the years I’ve dealt with my own male card reading clientele.  Ninety-nine percent of these men ultimately realize how much they lost dearly in the process. And they want to get right with the women they left.

Revel in the sordid re-telling of all his secrets, weaknesses and transgressions to your friends?

If you have any character at all, you won’t.  It’s far better to take the high road by not allowing yourself to fall into this trap.  All you do is set everybody in your life up to really hate this guy if the two of you ever should decide to try to work things out and reconcile at a future time.  Best advice:  Just plain don’t.

Bite your tongue, refuse to speak ill of him as long as there is a tiny shred of love in your heart for that man.  Should the two of you get back together at some future point, bystanders in your life will not forget the dirt you shoveled in the aftermath of the breakup, trust me.

Go out with his male friends just to make him jealous?

You didn’t act like a slut during the relationship, why start now?  Think about it:  This ploy is so  ‘high school’ and so ‘not you’ – why would you ever want to make yourself suddenly seem incredibly shallow and immature?  You should only – and I do mean, only – go out with his male friends if they were strictly platonic friends prior to the breakup and you keep it that way after the breakup.

To encourage his male friends to think you are interested romantically or to lure any of them to your bed out of vengeance toward him does nothing but make the situation worse for all involved.  And you really only make yourself look terribly ridiculous in the long run.

Beg him to come back after you’ve thrown him out because you’re suddenly feeling lonely?

No, no, no! You took a strong stance about his infidelity and it’s crucial to the relationship the two of you could come to share one day in the future that you remain strong in that stance.  I can’t stress this enough.

Do not call him, email him or text him.  Absolutely no contact is critical.  You’ve got to make him need you.  If he comes too quickly and easily without the kind of deep remorse and commitment to change that you deserve from him, quietly refuse his overture.

It may be 3am and he’s standing outside your door looking so sad and forlorn in the rain, but if he hasn’t come to you for the right reasons, softly say, “I’m sorry, but no,” and gently close the door.

Make that man miss you and long for you from the deepest part of his heart.  Don’t settle for anything less. You will get him back as a better man, trust me.

Remember…Love is the one constant in our lives.

Love transcends stupid errors in judgment and angry reprisals.  While the head gets caught up in logical and linear thinking, the heart is an organ of simplicity that only knows what it feels.

It’s definitely possible to achieve a better, more meaningful and lasting relationship after the hurt and despair caused by infidelity.  The cards can be extremely instrumental to let us know when that man who has fallen from grace is truly sorry and ready.  Ready to make amends.  Ready to commit to an honest, lasting relationship and give the very best of himself.

When it comes to men who have cheated, the cards will clearly reveal those relationships that can and will survive no matter what, simply because they want to be better men as a result of the lessons they learned having to live without you.

Trust me on this!