Making Someone Love you?
Long Distance Relationships
Keeping Love Alive
Sexual Attraction
Evolution of Emotion
Love Vs. Obsession
Finding Love and Happiness
Relationship Addiction
Coping With Family Disputes
Extra-Marital Affairs
Keeping Marriage "sexy"

Making Someone Love you?

Can you make someone fall in love with you?

Intuitively speaking, yes you can. With insight, ingenuity, and enough restraint, you can truly make someone fall in love with you. But only -- and I do stress this -- if he or she doing so has the potential for loving you to begin with. As much as we may want to, we can never make the wrong partners right for us. You could literally stand on your head to try to make someone fall in love with you, but if that person is not already inclined to take that "fall," it will never happen. This is where wishful thinking so often plays a major role. We can get so caught up in our own hopes and dreams for the future that we tend to forget that the recipients of our love may just not feel the way we do.

These people are, for all practical purposes, the sum total of their own life experiences, and what they feel or don't feel is as worthy of defense for them as our own feelings are for us. Still, we continue to persist. We send letters, make phone calls, and try to be in the same places they are -- hoping that by persevering in our mission to have them fall "in love" with us, these people will inevitably succumb to our desires. I'm sorry, but reality just doesn't work that way.

When you first meet someone, or you even just see someone at a distance to whom you feel attracted, the attraction doesn't necessarily go both ways. You must remember, that person is operating with a mind set that is the result of personal experiences within the framework of his or her own life. You can think you are the man or woman of someone's dreams, but unless this individual is able to also perceive this -- unless an emotional connection between the two of you already has the potential for becoming reality -- that connection will never take place. I can't stress enough how important this realization is for finding happiness in new relationships.

First of all, men and women in general are initially attracted on two different levels. Women are initially drawn emotionally. Women are emotional creatures by nature and lead their lives from an emotional center. Men, on the other hand, tend to be drawn sexually first. It is a basic fact of their existence. Men are propagators of the species, where women instinctively assume the role of nurturer.

From the outset we have people with entirely different points of view on life searching to relate to each other on some sort of common ground. That common ground will, more times than not, initially take the shape of physical attraction, and if there is potential, that attraction will inevitably develop into a meaningful, emotional bond. When you meet men, ladies, you need to remember: These men are initially being guided by sexual instinct. When you men meet ladies, you also need to remember that they are operating from an entirely different value system from yours initially. This is one that begins and ends with emotion.

How do you find that common ground on which to build a strong, meaningful relationship in the future? To begin with, you can get an insightful reading from a good reader who will tell you if such a relationship does, in fact, have the potential for becoming reality before you even attempt to spin your wheels. You can strive to establish a sound friendship between the two of you first. We frequently dismiss friendship as not even being related to romantic love -- and yet, friendship is the best foundation for marriage and permanent, loving relationships that there is. You can allow the recipient of your feelings to take the lead in good time, while waiting and watching for signs that will let you know that they are in fact interested. But no matter how hard you may try, you cannot force someone into feeling something for you if the potential is simply not there for them to ultimately feel it.

The future, whether we like it or not, comes in its own time and in its own way, and no amount of pressure or effort on your part will ever change that fact. Too often, when we meet someone where there is potential for a meaningful relationship to take shape, we try to make it happen for us immediately.

Relationships -- good relationships -- take time to develop and grow. These relationships simply can't be rushed. If you were planting seeds in a garden, would you say, "I want to see fully ripened tomatoes here tomorrow?" No. You'd tend that garden faithfully, content to watch those tomatoes grow naturally, day after day. You'd care for them, watch over them with patience and concern, allowing nature to follow its own course. This is how we should view our relationships: as seeds in a garden that need our time, and attention, and patience as they slowly take root and grow. Rome, after all, wasn't built in a day and neither are solid, secure relationships that can withstand the test of time.

So how can you make someone fall in love with you when the potential exists for them doing so?

First, be receptive. One should let people sit and talk about whatever happens to be on their minds, even if it's how hurt they are from a previous relationship. Feeling that they can confide in you is a big initial step toward establishing future intimacy.

Second, be a challenge. Nobody wants to pursue a meaningful relationship with someone who comes across as available to anyone who happens to look their way. Be challenging psychologically, intellectually, and sexually. Let them know that you have a good mind, a caring heart, and the self-respect to share yourself sexually just with someone you love. Help them to feel that giving them your time and attention -- and later your affection -- makes them, in your eyes very special indeed.

Third, be forgiving. We've all been places and done things that we regret and are ashamed of. Forgiveness is, after all, the key to truly loving anyone in life. Whether it is a mother, father, lover, friend, or a child, forgiveness is the essence of true love. Perhaps it is most important to allow the people you care for the time and freedom to reach that important moment of caring for you by giving them time and understanding to reach this conclusion on their own. We are all, each of us, following our own individual paths toward the future and not necessarily operating from the same emotional levels.

When a relationship actually has the potential for becoming reality, you will know it on a highly intuitive level. You will feel pulled, as if by an imaginary string, toward that person. You will feel a sense of "completeness" just by being physically near to them. This is the feeling which tells us, "I'm going to marry him or her one day." It isn't a feeling that says, "Gee, I sure would like to have sex with him or her one day." It is a feeling on a far, far deeper level -- even if you have only just meet.

Love is a bond that can be intuitively perceived in readings. I conduct these readings with ordinary playing cards long before a relationship has ever been realized and long before two people have even met. Once perceived, you are able to intuitively "know" when you have met the individual capable of making you fall in love, for real. You experience that feeling of "completeness." Your heart is suddenly made whole. Honest, pure, real love isn't something you "fall into." It is simply something you just "know."
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Long Distance Relationships

It's been my experience, throughout the years I have been conducting readings for others, that of all the relationships people attempt to maintain in their lives, long-distance relationships are certainly some of the most challenging. And when people fail to take a few crucial factors into account, they can often be the most heartbreaking.

Personal Prophesy is the method I use to intuitively perceiving the future from ordinary playing cards while observing a number of important principles regarding choice and change. Personal Prophesy teaches us that personal growth occurs regardless of whether we are physically close to those we care for or if we are far apart where distance is concerned.

Whether you are aware of it or not, we are all growing and changing every day. In terms of our emotions and the way we view our lives, we are literally becoming "new" individuals every morning when we wake up. This is also true for the rest of the world. In other words, as a result of what you experience and learn from today, "who" you were yesterday is essentially not "who" you will be tomorrow.

But we have a tendency to see ourselves as highly unchangeable from day-to-day when, in fact, we -- and the lives we are living -- are entirely shaped by change. This occurs every single moment that we are alive.

When we are physically close to the one we care for and have the ability to see that individual every day, personal growth tends to be a gradual and generally comfortable process in regard to change. We are able, quite naturally, to grow and change together, achieving great closeness in many significant ways.

When we are involved with someone at a distance, however, what might be a gradual process where personal growth is concerned tends to seem far more dramatic when we are able to share physical closeness. This is simply because we don't have the luxury of spending time with these individuals on a day-to-day basis. As a result, change tends to seem very unnatural and may even alienate us to a certain extent.

Whenever we engage in long-distance relationships, we find ourselves continually having to re-establish and reaffirm "togetherness" each time we are able to share physical closeness with the one we love. Some people have the ability to thrive on the intensity involved in "stopping" and "starting" again. Whenever these couples are reunited, they find themselves feeling like new lovers again, they enjoy the thrill of getting to know each other again, and they experience a rather euphoric sense of "newness" about the relationship that draws them close every time.

Other couples struggle with a certain amount of difficulty as they search for a sense of constancy in a relationship where, realistically speaking, there is very little. This is due to the distance that happens to be involved. These couples require a considerable amount of reassurance from each other that the relationship is still, in fact, intact. They tend to experience conflict where personal growth is concerned because distance has caused them to grow and change, separately. They feel insecure about the strength of the relationship. They are driven to question it, but they still strive to re-establish closeness.

And, of course, there are those couples who simply cannot endure those changes that inevitably result in terms of personal growth in a long-distance relationship and find themselves so constantly riddled with doubt and worry, they feel they have no choice but to end the relationship -- if only to escape their own intense insecurities about it.

As you establish long-distance relationships, try to remember that they will be, as any other relationship in your life, constantly affected by change. If you can adapt to these changes and not feel threatened by them, your relationships will become all the stronger and more loving in the long run.

Another factor involved in whether long-distance relationships will ultimately survive or fail is the way in which they begin. When you meet someone online, and a relationship between you begins to develop, that relationship is essentially taking root in an unreal and entirely perfect environment. It is, as perceived in the cards, an experience that is purely psychological.

There is, of course, absolutely nothing wrong with psychological experiences. From it, we can most certainly learn and grow. We may also feel a tremendous amount of emotion in the process as we go about the business of living our individual lives.

But you must remember that at least 50 percent of the time these relationships have very little to do with reality. After all, they exist in a perfect environment. Perfection, as you and I both know, will never define a relationship. It's how we positively or negatively attempt to cope with imperfection in our partners that ultimately defines these relationships.

When you meet someone online, or if you correspond with a pen pal, the "medium" itself may seem very intimate. You may find yourself sharing your innermost thoughts, your feelings, and your beliefs about life in general. You may also find yourselves meshing on such a deep level that you feel sure you are destined to share life together.

But meeting in this manner is not the same as, say, standing side by side in the supermarket, droopy-eyed and squeezing grapefruit. It's not as if you were bumping into each other at a club with a length of toilet paper stuck to your shoe. It isn't an experience grounded in reality the way reaching for the same book in the library would be when he is unshaven and you neglected to put on your makeup. The bottom line is that what we experience in a perfect environment will be entirely different from what we experience in one grounded in nothing but sheer reality.

Can long-distance relationships survive and be successful? From my experience with the cards, I would have to say, absolutely. Over the years I have seen many people achieve a tremendous bond in terms of love and intimacy in a permanent sense for the future.

These relationships, however, are only successful when they begin in an atmosphere of honesty, faith, and trust. Those people involved are willing to be realistic and recognize that change will play a significant role as these relationships move toward the future.
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Keeping Love Alive

Intuitively speaking, keeping love alive -- when so much of the outside world threatens to overwhelm -- is one of the most difficult challenges we will ever face in our lifetimes.

You might be thinking, "Well, how in the world can that be? If you're really in love with each other, keeping love alive between you shouldn't be a hard thing to do at all." I wish I could say this is true, but unfortunately -- at least in terms of the number of years I have spent intuitively perceiving romantic relationships in the cards -- falling in love is relatively easy. But keeping love alive is, realistically, one of the hardest things we will ever do.

Consider for a moment those beautiful, wondrous first days of being "in love." Everything about the experience seems practically perfect. You find yourselves meshing in ways you never thought possible. Your hopes and dreams seem so compatible it's as if you were born to be together. You feel such ecstasy and find such completeness in that loving, passionate embrace you share that you are convinced you have finally found "the one."

But the question is, will that "in love" feeling last? From my experience with the cards, the answer is no -- not unless you are willing to put a tremendous amount of time and energy into it. Being "in love" is that virginal, untried first step involved in loving. It's basically an overwhelming desire between two people to simply be together.

But love -- real love -- changes and grows as we ourselves do all the time. Every single day it requires tending and nurturing and only with time does it become strong and resilient. This is the love that develops into a bond between two people, and it has the power to carry them into the future together and at times survives what may seem to be nearly insurmountable odds.

When we are in love, what we feel is presented in the cards as if it were a young, innocent child. It needs a tremendous amount of protection and guidance as it matures and moves toward the future. Without that protection and guidance, this "child" -- this love -- simply flounders, having no idea where it should go.

In reality, far too many of us are so "in love" with the love we feel for each other in the present that we rarely, if ever, stop to consider the hardships we may inevitably face as couples in the future. For instance, there are financial problems. There is also the stress of raising children. Then there are conflicts with relatives, career changes, illness or addictions, and outside temptations.

What we fail to realize is that the experience of falling "in love" is only a first step toward truly loving. It's what comes after, in the form of hardships and challenges the future brings and how we successfully overcome them, that actually gives depth and substance to the love we feel. Unfortunately, many of us are so in love with "being in love" that we never give ourselves the chance to advance beyond that first step.

Take a good, hard look at the divorce rate among us these days. More than 50 percent of all marriages today end in divorce. Why? Simply because couples can't keep their love alive. One thing or another manages somehow to draw these couples apart. Perhaps there are too many problems, or maybe there is too much boredom. Sometimes even too much personal growth on the part of one spouse and not enough on the part of the other can be the cause. And yet, I can't imagine that a single person in this world ever marries expecting at some future time to get divorced.

Divorce is perceived in the cards as an unnatural breakdown in the process of loving. It means one -- or both -- of the partners involved has somehow allowed him or herself to lose focus in the relationship: they've lost faith, and they're essentially looking beyond the commitment in that relationship in order to achieve personal happiness for themselves.

On the intuitive level, commitment is perceived as a conscious agreement between partners to be together. But the bond that exists between them is something that runs far deeper. When two people are not truly "bonded" to each other, which takes a considerable amount of time and effort by both partners to achieve, it doesn't matter how "committed" they may outwardly profess to be. Their relationship is essentially doomed, intuitively speaking, practically from its beginning. Without that strong, solid emotional bond between them, keeping love alive will be literally impossible.

How do we achieve such a bond? For one thing, we wake up every day and see our relationships as genuinely living, growing things, and we care for them accordingly. We realize that being "in love" is mainly an initial experience of passion and attraction, and we strive to build a much more meaningful foundation of hope and trust on both with the passing of time.

We exercise a tremendous amount of understanding and forgiveness in our relationships, because we are aware that *today* is not *yesterday* in terms of those relationships. But, with the right care and handling, today will certainly become a more enriched, far more fulfilling tomorrow because we have been able to love unconditionally.

We do everything we can to stay "in love" by continuing to be the individuals we were at the start of these relationships. In other words, she still makes an effort to dress "for him" when they go out to dinner. He still serves breakfast in bed "for her" the way he used to do when they were engaged. They continue to romance each other and be attentive to each other's needs, even when the dishes aren't done or the lawn hasn't been mowed. They essentially look for ways in the midst of everyday living to celebrate their love for one another -- to literally keep their love for one another alive.

This may not be all the time, of course, but enough of the time. Often enough, to let partners know that even when times are troubled or if circumstances aren't quite what we'd like them to be, we are still very much "in love" in spirit.

You can keep love alive in your relationships, but it's up to you and your partner to make it happen. Plainly speaking, there is nothing effortless about love. In fact, genuinely loving our partners can be one of the toughest commitments we ever make in life. But the rewards to be reaped are enormous when we are sincerely committed to investing enough time and effort -- enough of ourselves -- into developing a loving bond that can truly last a lifetime.
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Sexual Attraction

Sexual Attraction: When to act on it in new relationships, when not to -- and why.

To begin with, let me say that in the 14 years I have spent intuitively perceiving the future from a deck of playing cards, I have seen very few romantic relationships in the cards actually begin on a level of *true love.*

Most romantic relationships take shape on a level of sexual interest first. This is really only natural when you consider that we are fundamentally sexual beings driven by an instinct to engage in sexual relationships with each other in order to keep the world populated. Since we are also civilized beings who tend to follow certain standards in society, we generally don't indiscriminately engage in sexual relationships with just anyone.

With that in mind, let's consider how the cards perceive sexual attraction between the sexes. Over the years, I have discovered that most men tend to view their relationships with women on the sexual level initially, while most women are led emotionally in their attractions at this stage. The end result? Males tend to be misunderstood in their pursuit of sexual release, and women tend to feel misled by the pursuit -- which is, intuitively speaking, a completely avoidable situation.

With careful thought and action, the sexual force perceived in the cards can be put to excellent use in the early stages of these relationships. When you understand this force for exactly what it is -- the drive for sexual gratification -- you won't go wrong. I guarantee it. You will "know" perceptually whether this new relationship is capable of making you happy, even as it is only beginning. Furthermore, I can vouch from experience reading the cards that this kind of insight can be priceless.

Sexual attraction is interest as it is perceived on the physical level. It should never be confused with emotion. Can the cards actually differentiate between physical drives and emotional needs in this way? Absolutely.

Frequently, people act too quickly where sexual interest is concerned, even when it has been perceived to be to their detriment to do so. In other instances, they will try to reap a future from it, finding themselves merely living to regret it. All sorts of these people have come back to me and groaned, "Why didn't you warn me?" That's the important lesson in Personal Prophesy. You have to listen to the message in order to make it work for you. In every one of these cases, the prophesy was there, but unfortunately, the "message" just wasn't heeded.

How can you use sexual attraction as a productive tool in your own life as you look for love? First, and perhaps most important, don't immediately act on it. Give that attraction time to intensify. Too often, people allow themselves to leap into the moment, failing to realize that an easily satisfied sexual attraction will fade as it is only just beginning. I've seen countless potential love relationships in the cards crumble because the parties involved jumped at the first opportunity to satisfy sexual attraction and then found themselves with nothing left to lead them toward the future together. An attraction that is not immediately satisfied can, however, only grow stronger, making it possible for a more meaningful relationship to develop in the meantime.

Try to visualize sexual attraction along the same lines as pangs of hunger. You can feel a little hungry and quickly satisfy that hunger with a quick snack. Will you remember that snack tomorrow, five days from now, or two weeks from now? Chances are, probably not.

But suppose you don't have the opportunity to grab a quick snack. Suppose you have to wait a good long while before you get anything to eat. What happens? You get very, very hungry. As time passes, you become ravenous. You want satisfaction so badly that you can't stand it. And when you can finally sit down to eat that big, glorious, and beautiful meal you've had your heart set on, in that moment it literally becomes a celebration of pleasure and gratification, which is virtually indescribable to the senses.

That feeling of indescribable pleasure and consummate satisfaction is what you should strive to achieve in your romantic relationships. It is the key to making the bond between you and your partner strong and lasting. If you begin with "a quick snack," sexual attraction cannot bring you to that feast of true and complete satisfaction later, when the two of you will desire it most.

Here is a good intuitive guideline to follow as you meet new potential partners. When you feel that sexual attraction and don't act on it, and the individual you are attracted to loses interest and no longer pursues you, this is an important sign that he is not the right partner for you in terms of the future. Sexual encounters rarely foster love. It's what occurs between two people before sexual gratification takes place that brings meaning and substance to the relationship.

I see sexual attraction in the cards as a sword that cuts two ways. It can be used to your best advantage in order to inspire a relationship of substance (or conversely, to let you know that such a relationship is not a possibility), or it can be used against you, causing you to act injudiciously when it really wasn't what you wanted to do at all. Accept this attraction for what it is: the drive for sexual gratification. It is a powerful, self-satisfying force -- and you will have no illusions about its prophesy.
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